


The doctors safe space

by bluehaircosplay



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, F/M, It Was A Dream, Post-Library River Song, Pre-Regeneration (Doctor Who), River Song is Saved, Rivers Dairy, Sad with a Happy Ending, Tranzalor, im sorry, weddingday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:07:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23562070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluehaircosplay/pseuds/bluehaircosplay
Summary: When the doctors world crashing down and he needs someone to speak he goes to the only place where he is close to his love... but then things changed.
Relationships: Eleventh Doctor/River Song, The Doctor/River Song, Thirteenth Doctor/River Song, Twelfth Doctor/River Song
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

The wind blew gently through gorges between the individual buildings. There was a lot going on in the library, but this corner was little visited. Autobiographies. And yet between all the great stories of the universe, there was a book, hardly anyone knew this person, and yet she was one of the most special and extraordinary that has ever existed. It was a blue diary that has not been opened since it was placed there. In this one story that only someone who was there would believe. One of these people was landing just a few meters away. The sound of the TARDIS echoed through the full bookshelves and a man climbed out of the blue police box. His face, so young, and then his eyes were so old, revealing that there was much more behind this mask of the young man. Slowly, as if he were in pain, he walked up the stairs on the railing of which the Blue Book lay. When he discovered the book, his face grew sad.  
"Hello sweetie," he murmured softly, touching the book. He rarely allowed grief, but the grief he felt at that moment overwhelmed him. He has suppressed it for far too long.  
"I should have visited you before ... But the truth is ... I was afraid. I still am. You are in my thoughts every single day. Every morning when I wake up, I miss you by my side. I hope to meet you on every adventure but ... my time is coming to an end. It's not like last time. This time it is final. I have no regenerations left. If I go to Tranzalor I will die ... I don't want to be selfish ... ” He took a deep breath and tears ran down his cheek.  
"River I can't do it. I need you with me ... and I ... I don't want to die. I'm not ready to give up this life. ”He sobbed and fell on his knees.  
"River ... please give me a sign ... a message ... anything ..." he pleaded and at that moment the TARDIS phone rang.  
"I guess that was the sign ... When I die ... your lips will be the last thing I think about. Your love changed me and made me better for myself. I will love you forever ... ”His lips gently touched the blue cover of the diary before he left.

The diary remained untouched for several centuries ... Until one day the blue telephone box came back. This time a much older man came out of the TARDIS, his steps much more difficult. He slowly sank down onto the railing next to the diary.  
"It should have been different ... I should have stopped you. Never let you go ... But you were one step ahead of me. You always have been. So smart and independent. Attractive and simple the love of my life. The last 24 years ... The night on Derillium ... It was more than I could ever hope for. Time with you to feel your love every day ... I know I would never get tired of it. And I know that from now on my life would become lonely. ”A lonely tear ran down his cheek and dripped onto the book that was now on his lap.  
"I had to promise you not to drown myself in my grief, but how should I go on living normally when you are no longer by my side ... I will never be the same again, not without you, River Song ... without you it doesn't make sense anymore ... nothing makes sense anymore. The two of us together ... That's the only thing that matters ... But you ... You had to come here and save my stupid ass. I didn't even know how important you were back then ... how much I love you. I'm sorry it had to end this way. I would give the rest of my regenerations to live with you the rest of our life together - I would give up my life as a timelord for it. I would become human and finally fulfill your only wish that I could not fulfill so far. And I'm so terribly sorry to this day that I couldn't give you a child. ” He sighed.  
"Even if we never talked about it, I know that it was your wish ... I saw it in your eyes, even back when we were in this amusement park ... And I also saw how this dream died in you. And it was my fault. I couldn't give you the only thing you wanted. And instead of hating me .. you stayed with me. Have shown me again and again that I am worth being loved. "  
He stroked the cover gently.  
"I will thank you for the time we have together, our love, until the end of my life, Professor River Song. Thank you for making me, a stupid Timelord, marry you. ”The gray-haired Scotsman smiled softly but sadly. Then he took a small object out of his pocket. A gold ring.  
"I will carry mine forever ... I will leave yours with you. Just like one of my hearts will always stay with you. Because you stole it. Not even the stars themselves can describe the love I feel for you. ”He kisses the book gently and then places it, along with the ring, in its old place before slowly going back to TARDIS on new adventures. River Song always in his heart.

He visited her every year on her anniversary. Told her about his evening adventures, even brought flowers.  
Until his visits failed to appear ... Nothing happened for several decades. Everything was in its place and dusted ... until at some point it was no longer in place.


	2. Finally

A short time later the TARDIS sounded again through the hallways of the library. A young woman fell out of the blue phone box, apparently over her feet, because when she looked around her face was worried and at the same time rushed. She jumped up and ran down the stairs to the place where she had spent so much time, and yet it was as if she was there for the first time. She was holding a bouquet of blue roses and when she stood in front of the parapet she saw it. The diary was gone. The roses fell on the floor. And she fell on her knees again.  
"NO!" She shook her head, just couldn't believe it.  
"No! I did not want that. River ... I'm sorry! ”She cried. Her eyes scanned the shelves around her, but found nothing. Hopelessly she dropped her head.  
"River ... I never wanted to forget you ... I don't know what happened- why I forgot you! How I could forget you You were the love of my life ... you still are. Something went wrong with this regeneration .... I'm so stupid ... Stupid, stupid doctor! "She was freezing cold, but she didn't care ... She had lost her wife. The Doctor cried for her lost love.  
"I should never have forgotten you ... River, the moment I discovered the blue roses, your roses in the TARDIS, I remembered it ... And now you're gone ... your life ... Our life ... Our love ... she is gone. "She looked at her hand. The one on which there was a golden ring for decades. Your wedding ring. The regeneration must have been lost.  
Tears ran down her cheeks and she cursed this regeneration. Everything was wrong. River would hate her. Everything was wrong. She didn't deserve this wonderful, strong, confident woman. The doctor's heart ached as if it would finally break. She jumped up. Somewhere in this shop there had to be some information. She remembered the information columns and when she ran for one, the thought occurred to her that someone might have borrowed it. The column turned ... and showed River Song's face. She was still a data spirit .... River Song was save. Only she had lost the only way to talk to her ...  
"WHERE'S THE BLUE BOOK?" She almost shouted.  
"We have 275839283726 blue books. Specify your search, ”said River's voice.  
"I'm looking for Professor River Song's diary!"  
"No entry was found"  
"I'm looking for the Blue Diary written by River Song." She was about to freak out.  
"No entry was found," repeated the voice.  
It was enough for the doctor. She jumped up and ran back to the stairs. The storm raged inside her and she didn't know how long she could control it. Just as she was about to run up the stairs, she saw someone sitting on the parapet. A red sinful dress flowed around an even more sinful body. Blonde curls played around her face. Her red lips played a flirting smile and the Doctor would bet her Sonic that the shoes were not only high but also matching her dress.  
River.  
"Hello Sweetie" she smiled and bent down to pick up the flowers.  
"Are they for me?" She asked. But all she got was a breath of "river."  
"My favorite flowers." The Doctor was coming closer. It was hard to bear. First her face in the information column, now here her datageist.  
"Not so shy. As you know I bite, but this is not the place for it. ”She flirted.  
"I'm sorry," she whispered as she stood in front of her.  
"What are you sorry for?"  
"I forgot you ..." she murmured guiltily. River put her hand on the doctor's cheek.  
"Oh sweetie, like you could ever forget me. I'm always with you, ”she smiled.  
"Why are you so kind to me? I did not deserve that. I'm a bad husband- bad wife. ”River covered Timelady's mouth with hers.  
"Stop talking nonsense," she smiled. The Doctor was so overwhelmed by the proximity of her beloved wife that she couldn't help pulling the taller woman closer to her.  
"Oh River." She cried on her shoulder.  
"My Doctor. I like the new update. At least what I can see. ”Grinned River Song.  
"Why could I never see you when I was here many times?"  
"I wanted to save you the pain. But believe me, I was there every time. "  
"And why now? And where's your diary? And your ring? ”The questions just flowed out of her.  
"I used the time sensibly to find a way. And here I am. Including my diary and my ring. ”She pointed to the book that was back in the old place and then to her hand where the ring was. In its old place.  
"As a Dataghost you shouldn't be able to do something like that ... And what way?" The Doctor pondered about the sentence.  
"When does the dime fall?" River asked and suddenly it fell like scales from her eyes.  
"River!" Stunned at her wife.  
"And then the penny fell. Hello Sweetie. ”The Doctor jumped up at her wife in complete joy and clutched her, never wanting to let her go again.  
"You are brilliant. No matter how you did it. It is a real miracle. Oh River. ”Tears ran down her cheeks again. Tears of joy.  
"Oh sweet I'm not as brilliant as you." They kissed again.  
"You are traveling with me," said the Doctor determinedly.  
"Bossy- I like your new you." River smiled.  
"I will follow you to the end of the universe until the end of time."  
"Oh believe me you don't want to go there - I was already there, back then with Martha and Jack as a stowaway." The Doctor had to laugh.  
"But first of all I will follow you to the TARDIS. I missed it and after making up for lost time, we're looking for your ring. The way you look now I can't leave you anywhere without a ring. ”She was irritated.  
"What do you mean by that? Don't I look good? "  
"OH Doctor you look more than just good! And that is exactly why it could happen that I quickly become jealous. “She smiled softly.  
"For me there is only you," the Doctor whispered softly before taking her wife's hand and taking her into the TARDIS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my little dream from last night.  
> I hope you like it!  
> Please write me a little comment!


End file.
